I'm short on time and feel even shorter on brain function. It has been... *deep breath* ...a truly AMAZING few days. With the absolutely miraculous success of our yard sale (thanks to so many of you), the overwhelming joy I felt with my loving friends at our "babies" shower, and—most recently—the wonderful news of my Dad's continued health even after three prior diagnoses of liver cancer, I have experienced some of the most amazing days of my life. God has been all over it, and it's awesome.
But... *another deep breath* ...I'm a little overwhelmed.
A friend of mine was talking to me about my blog tonight. She said that she just loved following along and really felt that my writing was a true window into all that we're experiencing. At first, I thought she was talking about our time in Russia. But the post she referred to was my most recent one—probably the one I've been the most nervous to share. So... I suppose it's time to be raw again...
While I am experiencing all these TRULY AMAZING blessings, I'm struggling a little. Two weeks ago I met our breathtakingly beautiful children. My life has since forever changed.
A little more than a week ago, I had to leave them...
I came back to the biggest yard sale ever, the resulting clutter that remained and disorganization, a thoughtful shower, a huge work deadline (or two, or three...) To put it lightly, I've been busy. But now... now, it's starting to catch up to me. I miss our B and C. I wish we didn't have to leave them. I wish B would be able to celebrate his second birthday next week with his parents by his side. I wish C would have us to smother her neck with kisses. I wish I was freezing my behind off in Russia. I wish I was with them...
*sigh*
So... that's what's been going on in my head the last few days. Don't get me wrong, I'm so unbelievably beyond grateful for all the many blessings. But... I just miss our kiddos...
4 comments:
Completely understandable, Kat - you need your babies! And I will pray that the process will continue to proceed at a good pace so you can give them those kisses and hugs.
Reminds me of my favorite Mommy quote:
"To have a child is to decide forever
to have your heart walking around outside your body."
~ Elizabeth Stone
SO true. You no longer think of yourself or even your spouse first. THEY are you. They are your whole world. Soon they'll be home with you, but your heart will always be with them.
This is one of the most excruciating parts of the process. The waiting and missing are so difficult. I will keep praying for you. If you ever need anything or just to talk, please know I am here and I understand right where you are!
Mary Rae
Huge hugs..That is what Mommys do..miss their babies when they are not with them want and need them with them always!
I pray that they will be home where they belong soon!
you all need each other and will soon be together forever..where you are all meant to be..:D
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