This time next week... *deep breath* ...I'll be a mom. If not on paper nor biologically, definitely in my heart. I do feel that God has been preparing us for parenthood, but I also believe he has helped us guard our hearts until the right time. That time is soon.
Our path to parenthood has not been an easy one, as most of you know. For a short while, it had been filled partially with waiting, disappointment, helplessness, pain and uncertainty. But overshadowing all of that has been our very blessed journey that began when we followed God's call for us to adopt. I am honored that God has placed orphans upon our hearts and will form our family through adoption. "...once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act." (Proverbs 24:12) However, adoption has its own uncertainties, and we are thankful to our Lord that He has protected our hearts during these beginning stages of the process when so much is up in the air. Now that we are nearing the day that we will finally see the beautiful faces of our children in person, I sense the peace of the Holy Spirit allowing me to experience the excitement of our upcoming trip. I've been hesitant to use the words "mom," "dad," "our son," "our daughter," but that hesitation is wearing off.
On my way out the door this morning I stopped and kissed my husband and said, "Do you realize this time next week we will have already met both of our children? You'll be a 'dad!'" Derek just looked at me. "Wow," he said. Wow indeed.
One of my closest friends recently gave birth to her first child. While I'm not experiencing all the physical things that come with being pregnant, I feel I might have some idea of what it's like to be less than a week from one's due date. Excitement. Overwhelming emotions. Nervousness. Anxiousness. You name it, I'm probably feeling it!
Can you imagine what my posts will be like one week from today...?