I'm going to be honest. I am so indescribably thankful to everyone who has donated items or money for our yard sale and to help us bring our children home… but this outpouring of love has been difficult for me to receive.
Truth be told, I didn’t have many friends in school. In eighth grade, I was the tall, lanky girl who had to sit at the edge of the lunch table by herself and was made fun of for being so skinny. Yeah, yeah, I know… You can hear the violin playing. But I’m not writing this for pity. Since then, for whatever reason, I have struggled with accepting love and assistance from friends.
I called my mom today to tell her about all the new items that were left in or just outside of our garage and explained to her how I felt. “I’m so undeserving of all of this. So unworthy of all this love,” I said. That’s not the right attitude—I know that and she reminded me of it. She proceeded to tell me how meaningful it was to her that people are reaching out to her daughter like this. The sacrificial love that everyone is showing is just so amazing.
And then it hit me and my perception changed.
All of this—the donated items, the gifts, the encouragement, the time and effort, the excitement—it’s all really for…my children. This love is for my children! And this new mother’s heart is so thankful that people are loving B and C before ever meeting them. It’s not about feeling deserving or not, it’s about being able to witness the love our extended family (read: our friends) is anxiously bestowing upon our kiddos. I’ve never experienced a feeling like this before. I’m praising God for all of this, there is no doubt!